Growth

Last night my wife made dinner.

For most people that’s not a big deal at all. Many women cook, and are good at it, and enjoy it. For Jodi, this represents a massive shift.

Let’s go back in time a bit.

It was January 2019. I had recently proposed to Jodi, and she had moved into the house I was renting in Gainesville. I started making dinner and invited her to join me as I prepped everything.

“I don’t know,” Jodi said, “I’ve had some bad experiences with cooking.”

She told me about how difficult the experience of learning to cook had been. Everything was confusing, nothing made sense, and it seemed like it took a ton of effort to get anything edible out of it. She had decided to opt out, and was fine with not knowing how to cook.

“Come on,” I said. “It can be fun.”

Skeptical look on her face, Jodi agreed, and I showed her how to chop an onion. The end result was a delicious meal, and Jodi was a little bit more comfortable in the kitchen.

Since then, we’ve continued to cook together. We’ve picked up new skills and techniques, and have developed a pretty good routine in the kitchen. We look at the recipe for whatever’s on the menu, and Jodi typically chops vegetables while I handle prepping the meat or cooking the rice.

Over time, we’ve been sure to switch off responsibilities so Jodi has exposure to how everything works. She’s now fairly comfortable in the kitchen and we make meals together on a regular basis.

Which brings us to last night.

At work, I accidentally took down a critical piece of software that our industry requires to be functional 24/7. I had spent all day working on it, and couldn’t just stop working with this service still down. So I asked Jodi to make dinner without me.

She knocked it out of the park. She chopped the vegetables. She prepped and sautéed the fish. She roasted it in the oven. She made the slaw. She roasted the broccoli. She did it all without my help and without asking any questions.

When we first got together, she hated the idea of cooking. She despised it. The very idea gave her a ton of anxiety because of bad experiences in the past. So many people would just say “No, I’m good” if it means avoiding something painful.

It takes enormous strength of character to be open to revisiting something emotionally painful. Not only did she revisit it, but she conquered it. She gained new skills. She gained confidence. And now she’s comfortable in an area that she had written off as something she’d never do.

I’m so damn proud of her. It’s this openness to giving things another shot that makes Jodi such an amazing woman, and a fantastic partner. No one knows everything and no one is perfect…but as long as we’re open to trying again, anything is possible.